Back in the saddle

Really? I suck at this blog thing. And I so desperately WANT to be good at it. My earliest dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up were a writer, a writer, and a writer. In that order. I don't write anymore. Used to write poetry, short stories, etc. I think I was the only one who actually enjoyed writing English papers for highschool and college. Somewhere along the way though...I lost my words. Lost my ability to write...to pull out those feelings and turn them into incredible moving narratives of the world around me. What happened, do you think? I wish I knew. Perhaps it's like riding a bike.....

Here we go.....

I'm sitting here watching the Biggest Loser as I type....and I am torn between wanting to jump and down and get started right now because I am so motivated....and scared because I don't want to fail. My heart is so full of emotion...I know how these people feel; I am scared like they are scared. I am determined.....I took the Pound for Pound Challenge...pledged 50 lbs...and you know what? I put it on Facebook!!! Incentive, much?? IT'S TIME!! To do it for ME! Cheer me on, folks! I need it!! Here we gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....................

From 2009 to 2010....

These words of wisdom have always meant a lot to me in life....with personal struggles and successes alike.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." ~ Robert Frost

This coming year, as mentioned in an earlier post, I am going to start facing the get healthy struggle. It will be a hard road, and a road less traveled...and so I figure, if I choose THAT road...that one will be the one that makes the difference. My wish for all those I love in this upcoming year is this....choose the road you don't travel...even if it's longer and more treacherous, so that you too may make that difference.

Farewell 2009~ I'm not sorry to see you go. And 2010, may you be a year of change and inner peace for all. Happy New Year.

Biggest Loser

The oldest kid and I got the WiiFit Board for Christmas..came as one of those bundle thingys..with the The Biggest Loser DVD/Wii game Family Cookbook. Now, I do NOT make New Year's Resolutions ( I put them in CAPS because to some, they are the be-all, end-all). The only one I have ever successfully conquered was not wearing white socks for a year, but that was due to my love of funky cool socks. I digress. Anyways, I looked through the cookbook...got a little excited. These are doable recipes. Hmmmm, methinks, onto the DVD/Wii game...all sorts of games and exercises and stuff. A little more excited...perhaps I can do this? Now, unless you live under a rock, you should know what The Biggest Loser is. I live in a townhouse, and ok, let me hear it...one collective GASP from the peanut gallery...NO, I have never seen the show. I know some of you watch it, though, and I'd like to hear from you. See, the gist I get from online ads and TV commercials is this...these people are at their wits' ends. And you know what, I'm about there. I'm 100 lbs overweight, I have high cholesterol ( I mean, off the charts), I have a recently diagnosed thyroid disorder, an about-to-be-diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I take 4 to 5 meds a day for various things.....and the kicker? I'm only 31! So, yeah, unless I want to precede my mother into the Great Wide Open, I need to do something now. My weak attempt at humor belies my fear....I have lost a child....I need to be around for my other two. I have tried them all...the Zone, Atkins, WW....I know I need to be ready...do I think my Wii can help me? For what it's worth....it IS here in my nice warm house. So, this year, perhaps I will try making one of those horrid resolutions....or maybe just a promise, to myself and to my kids; it's time for Mama to get healthy. And perhaps, with a lot of hard work and encouragement, this will be one promise I can keep.

Gotta get moving..

I've been searching through all the blogs I read every day to find ones that really interest me. The more I read, the more I am SO impressed over the quality of these blogs and the level of writing. I thought, I gotta get moving....I could do this, ya know. I could write like this. Should I do a recipe blog, a kid blog....scrapbooking, photography (leave that to the pros, heh, J?) I'm not quite sure my life is that interesting anymore to make for daily blog fodder. I do, however, salute the ones who write everyday.....you rock with your writin' selves!!

In Memory

Happy Birthday Emilee Faith~ you would have been 9 today. I have come to realize that your passing was, at least, something I have come to understand that things happen for a reason. Mommy thinks about you all the time and will never let your memory die. And to the godmother that didn't get a chance to show her incredible love to my child~ I love you and will always be sorry for that. Happy Birthday sweet girl~ we miss you every day that passes and will always love you.

Intentions

Have you ever done something with the best of intentions and it all goes wrong? I mean, something you thought about, planned for~ and then it all goes downhill? I am in the middle of a similar situation, and boy, am I conflicted. It seems as if the answer to solve the problem is just around the corner, but I just can't seem to reach it. Especially not without hurting others in the process. I have always been one to give of myself~ and more often than not, it has been a good thing. But sometimes it backfires. You know that old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? I'm not a big fan of lemonade these days.