Biggest Loser

The oldest kid and I got the WiiFit Board for Christmas..came as one of those bundle thingys..with the The Biggest Loser DVD/Wii game Family Cookbook. Now, I do NOT make New Year's Resolutions ( I put them in CAPS because to some, they are the be-all, end-all). The only one I have ever successfully conquered was not wearing white socks for a year, but that was due to my love of funky cool socks. I digress. Anyways, I looked through the cookbook...got a little excited. These are doable recipes. Hmmmm, methinks, onto the DVD/Wii game...all sorts of games and exercises and stuff. A little more excited...perhaps I can do this? Now, unless you live under a rock, you should know what The Biggest Loser is. I live in a townhouse, and ok, let me hear it...one collective GASP from the peanut gallery...NO, I have never seen the show. I know some of you watch it, though, and I'd like to hear from you. See, the gist I get from online ads and TV commercials is this...these people are at their wits' ends. And you know what, I'm about there. I'm 100 lbs overweight, I have high cholesterol ( I mean, off the charts), I have a recently diagnosed thyroid disorder, an about-to-be-diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I take 4 to 5 meds a day for various things.....and the kicker? I'm only 31! So, yeah, unless I want to precede my mother into the Great Wide Open, I need to do something now. My weak attempt at humor belies my fear....I have lost a child....I need to be around for my other two. I have tried them all...the Zone, Atkins, WW....I know I need to be ready...do I think my Wii can help me? For what it's worth....it IS here in my nice warm house. So, this year, perhaps I will try making one of those horrid resolutions....or maybe just a promise, to myself and to my kids; it's time for Mama to get healthy. And perhaps, with a lot of hard work and encouragement, this will be one promise I can keep.

Gotta get moving..

I've been searching through all the blogs I read every day to find ones that really interest me. The more I read, the more I am SO impressed over the quality of these blogs and the level of writing. I thought, I gotta get moving....I could do this, ya know. I could write like this. Should I do a recipe blog, a kid blog....scrapbooking, photography (leave that to the pros, heh, J?) I'm not quite sure my life is that interesting anymore to make for daily blog fodder. I do, however, salute the ones who write everyday.....you rock with your writin' selves!!

In Memory

Happy Birthday Emilee Faith~ you would have been 9 today. I have come to realize that your passing was, at least, something I have come to understand that things happen for a reason. Mommy thinks about you all the time and will never let your memory die. And to the godmother that didn't get a chance to show her incredible love to my child~ I love you and will always be sorry for that. Happy Birthday sweet girl~ we miss you every day that passes and will always love you.

Intentions

Have you ever done something with the best of intentions and it all goes wrong? I mean, something you thought about, planned for~ and then it all goes downhill? I am in the middle of a similar situation, and boy, am I conflicted. It seems as if the answer to solve the problem is just around the corner, but I just can't seem to reach it. Especially not without hurting others in the process. I have always been one to give of myself~ and more often than not, it has been a good thing. But sometimes it backfires. You know that old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? I'm not a big fan of lemonade these days.

Indian Summer

As I write this the windows are open, the sun is shining, (pretty much) and there is a gentle breeze blowing through the house. In October. Yes, here is our supposed Indian Summer. It was 80 DEGREES yesterday, and we are a mere 10 days from Halloween!! Speaking of Halloween, the house is decorated to the nines, since it's my favorite holiday. And on that special day, I will be taking a vampire and a toddler trick-or-treating. Let's see...hmmm....a vampire, and a...toddler? Do they make a costume for that? You see, it's a funny story. Sort of. Savannah REFUSES to wear a costume. Period. Now as far as I know, it's not fear of it, or that it's too hot, it's just that she is.not.going.to. Because that is what a toddler does. No means that she does not have to do anything she does not want to do, and that includes pleasing the mommy who feeds her and bathes her and buys her M&M's to bribe her to ride in the cart at Target. So, I wonder what all of your kids are going to be for Halloween. I hope, for your sake, they have costumes on. When I was a kid, not wearing a costume was akin to the Salem Witch Trials. You just put one on!! Or else. Nooooo candy for you! I am just hoping the cuteness factor gets her the loot.

Welcome Back to me!

Yes, I think I already told you I am a terrible blogger. But since finding out that there are people who actually READ this...I guess I need to get busy. As I type this I am listening (yes, I said listening) to the newest developmental stage of Savannah's life...screaming. To quote a dear fellow blogger...not just screaming, but "screaming that gets inside your brain". On the opposite end of this noise is Samantha yelling at Savannah "TIME out, I said TIME OUT"!!! This is what I hear on a daily basis. Geesh.
So, to update the last several months that I have been such a slacker on the blog front....Samantha is 10 now, Savannah is 2, and I am still separated. We are headed for divorce, and please don't say "I'm sorry" to me, because for the most part I'm really not. Isn't it the way it always goes...he's someone different than I thought he'd be, we want different things, yada yada. Yes, we both turned out to be different people and want different things. But most of all, I just want happiness. Just a fleeting chance at that most elusive of feelings. And I have enough respect for him that I wish him the same. All relationships have problems, and ours was, and still is, no more different than the next. However, some issues are insurmountable, and I choose not to climb that mountain. So, that's that.
I have a roommate now, and her daughter. For privacy's sake, I will call them L and H. My roomie and I were Facebook friends (damn addictive social networking site!) and it turned into a beneficial relationship for both of us. L and H moving in has been a work in progress, but for the most part it's running smoothly. It has been an adjustment for the girls and me to have roommates, but at this point in life, economically especially, it's what's needed.
I'm still at our local Y, and for now....well, I work there.
I have no great inspirational words to leave you with now...but, the duty of motherhood is calling, so I think I will write later. And NO, it won't be 7 more months!!!

De Plane, De Plane!

Tomorrow I leave for North Carolina for a whirlwind 24 trip. Two of those hours will be on a plane going and coming. Ok, so I am not the biggest chicken in the world, but flying makes me just squawk! I am going to see Jimmy Buffett in concert with my oldest brother~ and I am pysched! However, the whole flying-to-get-there part bothers me. And, this will be the first time I have been away from Savannah since she's been born~ so I am actually sad about that. Since I will be gone literally 24 hours to see one of my all-time favorite performers in concert from 12th ROW CENTER~ I guess I can deal! ;~) Xanax will be my friend...