Temper, Temper

Have you ever seen a 16 month old throw a temper tantrum? I don't mean sit down on the floor and cry. I mean throw herself down, put her head on her hands, and wail like there is no tomorrow. This is Savannah. She has "official" terrible two temper tantrums, and THEY SUCK! She is NOT even close to two yet. Everything pisses her off now. She can't share, will not relinquish a toy to anyone, and you sure as hell better not tell her "No" or I feel sorry for your eardrums. I try so hard to discipline, but how can I when everyone laughs so hard at her? Is there any advice out there for a mom who cannot believe her child is already becoming the Spawn of Satan 8 months ahead of time?

Grief

Four years ago today a dear friend of mine lost her mother. Not only her mother, but her best friend, and champion. It got me thinking about grief. I knew this incredible woman, and I was blessed to know her. She never crossed that fine line that comes between being a parent and a best friend. When you are young and single and raising a daughter on your own with no help, the temptation to take the easy way out is huge. I remember her funeral...the grief that was present at the death of a woman who was larger than life...a life that was full of grace and elegance. I remember thinking that day that if death could be a "tangible" thing, we would all handle it better. Because grief comes and goes in waves, it never fully disappears. And in my opinion, there is no "proper" way to deal. After losing a daughter, watching her body and soul detoriate, I learned that there is no better way to deal with death except head-on. Because if you don't tackle it first, it will sideline you. Peace be with my friend today...and over time, it will get easier. That is a promise I can make and keep. "Mom"~ I miss you. I miss how you cared about me and treated me with such love and attention. You cared about me because your daughter did. Some candles just can't stay lit.

Vote!

Opinions are like a*#holes, they say. Everybody has one. No matter. You know who you are going to vote for. At least, you should have decided by now, since you know, TODAY is Election Day. Soapbox moment...Other people in other countries (since there are many, not just OUR superpower, heh, heh) don't have this right. You do. And it is MY opinion that it is not just a right, it is a Duty. Your civic duty. If you don't vote, then you have NO right to bitch about the state of this country and the mess we are in. To paraphrase Nike, Just Do It!

Time

I realize 3o is not old. But I swear with every year that passes, the days fly by. We have but 2 months left of 2008. Nostalgia renders me speechless everytime I look at my children. Savannah does so many of the things Samantha used to do. Halloween is over, and now it is time for the holidays. It's trite, really, but where has the year gone? I am in a pensive mood today. I have been on iTunes alot lately, looking through old (to me, anyway) music, and with every song I find unexpectedly, a memory pops up. Old loves, friendships no longer available to me, people that I just wish I knew where they were now, to know they are ok. Is it a crime, when you are so happy with what you have now, to wish for days long gone? I would never trade my life now, but sometimes the memories overwhelm me with what used to be. As we head into the holiday season, which is at the same time welcoming and alarming, I treasure my memories more, and realize that there are so many new ones to be made.

Happy Birthday Emilee!

Today marks the 8th birthday of my darling Emilee Faith in Heaven, born too early and living only a month. She was only here a short time, but she left a lasting impression. She taught me that life is too short to waste negative energy on negative people, and that loving the ones you have is important every day. I say "I love you" a lot more than I used to, and I say it way more often. Please remember to tell someone that you love them...it may be the only chance you get. And remember, if there is but one cause you subscribe to, please let it be the March of Dimes. One day we will have a reason why preemies come and go so swiftly. The March of Dimes is committed to millions of babies and their families. Thank you. Happy Birthday Em! We love you and miss you every day.

And the reality sets in...

We lost. Yes, we lost. My precious Sox boys lost to Tampa Bay in Game Seven. Ok, while I am disappointed in the outcome, our team proved yet again to the world that we are a phenomenal team. For all you skeptics that say, "SHE never liked baseball before...." I am hooked. When the team hurts, I hurt. We played some damn good ball this postseason, and that we can be proud of. Besides, I guess we should give someone else a chance to get to the World Series every once in a while.
On to something else. This blog I follow, Confessions of a CF Husband, (check it out if you haven't yet) had some depressing news today. To make a long story short (just read the blog!), Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis and she is not doing well. She has some tumors and the docs at Duke think they have spread. I am quite depressed about this, and I wish with all my might that Tricia receive better news soon.
Also, this month is Breast Cancer Month, as well as Premature Babies Month. Both subjects are near and dear to my heart. I lost someone that was a mother figure to breast cancer and I lost a premature baby. October is a rough month all the way around. My husband lost his mother on Halloween four years ago. Send some love our way this October.
On a joyful note, Savannah is running. And talking. And, since she is MY child, she is LOUD! She says all sorts of things that only she understands, but she says OW! when she falls, and she says No for everything else. I love my girls! Samantha continues to do good in school and be a social, albeit too talkative, butterfly.
Here we go into the cold....marching straight into my favorite time of year, fall. Pictures will be posted soon. I am waiting for my beautiful new laptop to be delivered!

Sickness Sucks

Ok. It is firmly established. Sickness sucks. My husband has been sick for 3 weeks now. I took the kid (the younger one) to the doc's today...double ear infection. I feel like I have been run over by a Mack truck. Samantha is the only one..knock on wood, or Pergo, in our house...that is still healthy. Send some good wishes our way. We sincerely need it.