In Memory

Happy Birthday Emilee Faith~ you would have been 9 today. I have come to realize that your passing was, at least, something I have come to understand that things happen for a reason. Mommy thinks about you all the time and will never let your memory die. And to the godmother that didn't get a chance to show her incredible love to my child~ I love you and will always be sorry for that. Happy Birthday sweet girl~ we miss you every day that passes and will always love you.

Intentions

Have you ever done something with the best of intentions and it all goes wrong? I mean, something you thought about, planned for~ and then it all goes downhill? I am in the middle of a similar situation, and boy, am I conflicted. It seems as if the answer to solve the problem is just around the corner, but I just can't seem to reach it. Especially not without hurting others in the process. I have always been one to give of myself~ and more often than not, it has been a good thing. But sometimes it backfires. You know that old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? I'm not a big fan of lemonade these days.

Indian Summer

As I write this the windows are open, the sun is shining, (pretty much) and there is a gentle breeze blowing through the house. In October. Yes, here is our supposed Indian Summer. It was 80 DEGREES yesterday, and we are a mere 10 days from Halloween!! Speaking of Halloween, the house is decorated to the nines, since it's my favorite holiday. And on that special day, I will be taking a vampire and a toddler trick-or-treating. Let's see...hmmm....a vampire, and a...toddler? Do they make a costume for that? You see, it's a funny story. Sort of. Savannah REFUSES to wear a costume. Period. Now as far as I know, it's not fear of it, or that it's too hot, it's just that she is.not.going.to. Because that is what a toddler does. No means that she does not have to do anything she does not want to do, and that includes pleasing the mommy who feeds her and bathes her and buys her M&M's to bribe her to ride in the cart at Target. So, I wonder what all of your kids are going to be for Halloween. I hope, for your sake, they have costumes on. When I was a kid, not wearing a costume was akin to the Salem Witch Trials. You just put one on!! Or else. Nooooo candy for you! I am just hoping the cuteness factor gets her the loot.

Welcome Back to me!

Yes, I think I already told you I am a terrible blogger. But since finding out that there are people who actually READ this...I guess I need to get busy. As I type this I am listening (yes, I said listening) to the newest developmental stage of Savannah's life...screaming. To quote a dear fellow blogger...not just screaming, but "screaming that gets inside your brain". On the opposite end of this noise is Samantha yelling at Savannah "TIME out, I said TIME OUT"!!! This is what I hear on a daily basis. Geesh.
So, to update the last several months that I have been such a slacker on the blog front....Samantha is 10 now, Savannah is 2, and I am still separated. We are headed for divorce, and please don't say "I'm sorry" to me, because for the most part I'm really not. Isn't it the way it always goes...he's someone different than I thought he'd be, we want different things, yada yada. Yes, we both turned out to be different people and want different things. But most of all, I just want happiness. Just a fleeting chance at that most elusive of feelings. And I have enough respect for him that I wish him the same. All relationships have problems, and ours was, and still is, no more different than the next. However, some issues are insurmountable, and I choose not to climb that mountain. So, that's that.
I have a roommate now, and her daughter. For privacy's sake, I will call them L and H. My roomie and I were Facebook friends (damn addictive social networking site!) and it turned into a beneficial relationship for both of us. L and H moving in has been a work in progress, but for the most part it's running smoothly. It has been an adjustment for the girls and me to have roommates, but at this point in life, economically especially, it's what's needed.
I'm still at our local Y, and for now....well, I work there.
I have no great inspirational words to leave you with now...but, the duty of motherhood is calling, so I think I will write later. And NO, it won't be 7 more months!!!